Word Vomit

You know, I realized my blog is titled "In My Mind" and i haven't really let you guys indulge in my thoughts. Yeah, the poems speak of a past that isn't so perfect, a young girl in search of happiness and love.. But I never let you in on what thoughts go through my head at that moment.

So here goes my word vomit...


I guess we all face that simple yet complicated question which seems to haunt us. That question is "Why?"
Why are certain things the way they are?
Why do we lose loved ones before we even get to spend a long life with them by your side?
I guess you could say, things happen for a reason..
I'm starting to hate, no, despise that phrase. Because I believe some things that happen have no reason.. But whatever.
Why Maino? Hm. That question really can't be answered. Our friend Tito aka Maino was a good man. One of the coolest you could come across. And I loved him with all my heart. There were a lot of things I should have said, yet didn't. Coulda, woulda, shoulda but didn't.
Hey, I guess that's life right? Some things just stay unanswered.

As I woke up this morning (the day of his burial), I was actually awake with a smile on my face. Why? Well I don't know. Actually I do..
I know he is in a much better place and regardless, his soul lives on. He is only gone in the physical, but his soul is forever with me.
I smile because I know his love is in MY heart along with everyone else who loved him like I did.

I guess this time is right for me to let out all my feelings. I loved Maino, more than he could actually imagine. I missed out on an opportunity to be with him, but we always had a bond that could never be broken, regardless of the situation.

Just letting my feelings out..

Crazy how I passed up on that.. But I guess its just that I wanted to be patient but waited too long.

Damn, Aston Martin music in my head when I wrote that. Thanks Drake for the right words lol.

But still, my love will be there forever and a day. And I know that the love he had for me still lives within me.

But enough about that... We have to celebrate life, and to be honest, be proud to be alive! We do not have the choice of saying when we want to go, when WE think our time is up. That is God given fate. So before we pass on, we have to love our family and our lives. Sucks that a loved one has to pass away to realize the importance of what is right in front of us.
"Better late than never. But never late is better." Shouts to you again Drake.